ElectricFire 169

aka Adam

Bureaucrat Founder
  • I live in Galactic Sector ZZ9 Plural Z Alpha
  • I was born on June 20
  • My occupation is Gamer, writer, modder and video editor
  • I am Imagine there's no heaven, it's easy if you try
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  • Also can I send a sample clip of the voice if you still need it?

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    • I'm thinking I'm gonna ask about doing this with Darkus Marque, a friend of mine who I worked with on Alien: Infinity Continued.

      Also, please do. Just in case you don't still have it, my email is whenworldscollide2 (at sign) gmail (period) com.

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    • A FANDOM user
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  • Hey Adam. How's the pilot coming along? I haven't heard any updates on it. Have you gotten any more lines from the voice actors?

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  • Howdy friend!

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  • Here's my new short story focusing on the first WYM and its crew! Jor Talan is who I figured we could replace Avani with in 'Silence.' Also, I changed up some things with Rimmer and about how he's a bit ... odd. Let me know if it should stay or go. Anyways, hope you enjoy it!


    Captain Maloney stared deeply into the void of space. Without a word, Commander Jor Talan, his best friend and official right-hand, entered the commons room. Maloney had taken a leave from the bridge of the U.S.S. Who’s Your Mama to relax, leaving the bridge in command of his brother-in-law, Corporal Rimmer.

    “Hey, Mal,” Talan said slowly, crossing his arms. “Something seems to be bugging at you.” Maloney turned and glanced over his shoulder at Talan. “Really? How so?”

    The commander shrugged his shoulders. “Well, just…your persona. You seem to be jittery and nervous all of the time. More than usual, that is.” Maloney groaned. “Oh, I guess it’s just the stress of the job.” Talan sighed, leaning against the doorway. “Does it have something to do with that incident on Arcona IV?”

    Maloney chuckled. “Yeah, I guess so. That death threat that was delivered via comlink wasn’t too calming.” Talan shook his head. “Come on, Mal, you’ve gotta understand that that was just some fool’s joke. Who’d want to kill you?”

    The captain chuckled again. “I don’t know. Maybe some rival from the Academy was just playing a joke on me, as you said.” He rubbed his clean-shaven chin. “But still…something about it continues to burn in my mind.” Talan shook his head. “Just forget about it. I’m sure that it’ll find its way out of your mind in a few days.” A devilish grin crept onto his face. “We can visit Talmona and take a look at some of those hot chicks that—”

    Maloney waved his hands. “No. I got my feel of women back in that run-in on Balron. It was just too much for me to handle.” Talan shrugged. “Well, you did promise her your hand in marriage before robbing her blind of some artifact…”

    The captain sighed. “It was just a job I had to do. She was in league with the Klingons. That is, I think it was the Klingons…”

    Talan chuckled. “Aw, forget it. Just go about your normal day and don’t pay any mind to the whole death threat. Okay?”

    Maloney nodded, and then smiled. “Okay.”


    But he didn’t stop thinking of the death threat. Every time a yeoman gave him a data file or a crewman asked him a question about their course settings, he would jump and brace for the defensive.

    As the captain smoothly took his seat at the bridge’s command chair, he leaned his head back into the comfy cushioned headrest. Just as he began to relax, however, he heard a faint ticking noise…

    Quickly, his eyes snapped open and the captain jumped to his feet. “Helmsmen!” he yelled, attracting glances from several of the men and women on the bridge. “Get to cover! There’s a bomb!”

    Each of the crewmen took looks of horror. “A bomb?!” one exclaimed, climbing to his feet. The captain dove underneath the bridge’s console, covering his eyes. Waiting for the explosion. But…nothing happened.

    One of the two men controlling the ship’s helm looked at the chair then back to the captain. “Captain Maloney…there’s no bomb.”

    Maloney poked his head up above the console. “There’s…no bomb?” he repeated. The controller nodded. “Yes, sir. No bomb.”

    The captain sighed as he climbed back to his feet. Realizing the numerous pairs of eyes still trained on him, he waved them off. “All right. Everyone, back to whatever you were doing.” They all turned back to their consoles, but still kept one eye on him.

    Maloney sighed, running his hand over his face. At his side, Rimmer turned to him and spoke calmly, “Captain. I believe that you should return to your cabin and relax for a bit. You look as if you could use a rest.”

    The captain smiled. “Oh…right. Thank you, Corporal. I’ll do that at once.” The younger man, a spry and wise young man at the age of twenty, nodded. “You take command,” Maloney said, stepping towards the elevator. Swiftly, he was taken to the floor containing his quarters and began to march towards the doors.

    Just as he reached for the controls, however, Talan’s voice sounded. “Hey, Mal! Could I speak to you for a second?” Maloney looked at his door’s controls and then to Talan. “All right. Just let me put this data file in my room.” He reached to his hip and…

    …realized that he had left the file on the bridge!

    “Just my luck,” Maloney muttered, grabbing his comm. “Rimmer, this is Captain Maloney. Drop my data file on the new Klingon battle cruiser in my quarters, will you? I’ll be with Commander Talan for a moment.” Rimmer’s voice sounded again: “Yes, sir. I’m on my way.”

    Maloney quickly followed Talan into a hallway. “What is it, Jor?” Maloney asked. Talan pointed at a utility closet. “Open the door, Mal.” Curious, the captain reached forward and tapped a key. The door slid open and revealed the corpse of a crewman.

    Maloney’s jaw dropped. “W-who is it?” Talan sighed. “Ensign Gordon Ericson. We found his body stashed in here, with this note.” The commander held up a small yellow sticky-note with a message scrawled on it. It read,

    This is only the first, Captain. More will die if you don’t heed my command. Meet me tonight, when you normally go on leave, at the mess hall, with no one else. And no weapons. Nothing except clothes on your back. This all applies, of course, if you don’t go into your cabin.

    Maloney gulped. “Well…this complicates things.” Talan nodded. “Yes. It seems as if your thoughts weren’t ill-placed.” Maloney traced his fingers along the last line. “But what about this part here? About my…”

    His lower lip quivered. “…my cabin.”

    Talan arched an eyebrow. “What about your cabin, Mal?” The captain turned on his heel and darted for his quarters, raising his comm to his mouth. “Rimmer! Listen to me, don’t—!” But it was too late. All the captain saw was Rimmer step into the room and a light flash, and then smoke filled the corridor with a boom.


    Shrapnel splintered throughout the corridor. Pieces of metal and wall flew across the hallway. Luckily, most of the crew was still at their work stations. Only Maloney, Talan, and a pair of other crewmembers were in the corridor, and they all were at a considerable safe distance.

    “Rimmer!” Maloney yelled, darting for his quarters. Talan was right on his tail, hand at his hip. It was then that Maloney realized that a hidden pistol was strapped to the commander’s thigh.

    As the commander tore the weapon from the strap, Maloney bent down next to the door. Parts of the room’s wall was scattered across the chamber, and Maloney could make out the form of a figure lying beneath a pile of debris.

    It was Rimmer.

    “Jor! Come on!” Maloney yelled, moving into the room. Talan returned the pistol to his holster as he climbed into the room with his captain. The two worked hard to tear away at the debris. Within moments, Rimmer’s face could be seen.

    The young man’s head was bleeding—badly. A cut was on his forehead from one side of his head to the other. The crimson liquid dribbled across his bare temple. Bruises mottled his fair skin, a mix of purple and red. A layer of black dust covered his face. Slowly, Rimmer blinked open his eyes. “M….Maloney?”

    The captain wrapped his hand tightly around Rimmer’s. “Stay with me, brother. Stay with me,” the captain whispered lightly. Talan moved in to help Maloney pull the young crewman from the wreckage. Once they were out of the room, the two crewmen who were already there were joined by a host of others. Quickly, after Talan snapped his fingers, a pair of the newcomers darted to help him carry Rimmer to the medical bay.

    Maloney followed closely, his face one of shock. ---

    The doctors onboard the Who’s Your Mama had gotten to work on Rimmer quickly. Within ten minutes, the young man had been cleaned up and bandaged around his cuts—besides the one on his forehead, several others had been found across his body. Other injuries, such as the knotted bruises that falling wreckage had caused, were given other forms of treatment.

    As Maloney watched the lead doctor, a man named Tamsin, finish bandaging Rimmer’s wounds, the young seventeen-year-old engineering officer Avani stepped into the room. She looked as if she had just crawled out from underneath some console that needed fixing—dirt and dust caked her face, and her shoulder-length brown hair was a frizzy mess. A pair of work goggles crowned her head, pushed up past her hairline. “What happened?” she asked, looking in shock at Rimmer.

    Maloney shook his head. “I…don’t really know, other than that Rimmer went into my quarters to deliver a data file and…boom. He ended up here.” Avani sighed. “How’s he doing?” she asked. Maloney shrugged. “They haven’t told me anything yet.”

    Tamsin, after pressing his ear against Rimmer’s chest, stepped to Maloney. “Well, he’s still in quite a shock and in fair critical condition, but the wounds have been patched up.” A grim expression took his aged face. “However…there is one thing.”

    Maloney looked in anticipation at the elderly doctor. “What is it, Doc?” he asked. Tamsin sighed, ruffling his short gray hair. “Well…in the explosion, Rimmer suffered a collision with one of the tiles that fell. It struck his head, hitting it hard and cutting it. That’s how the slice on his forehead got there.

    “Anyways, when the tile struck him, it hit him in just the right location to cause some internal damage.” He took a breath and rubbed at the thin mustache crowning his upper lip. “And?” Maloney said, prying further into the doctor’s report. Tamsin sighed.

    “And…and he’s suffered brain damage. He’s lost some control of his mind, so he won’t be able to think as fast or, sometimes, maybe even just think.” Maloney stared blankly at the doctor. Clarifying, Tamsin stated, “He won’t be the same again, Captain.”

    Maloney was taken aback with the report. Yes, he figured Rimmer to have been injured in the explosion, but not…suffer brain damage. “But other than that…he’ll be fine?”

    Tamsin nodded. “Yes. Have you informed his family of the incident?” Maloney shook his head. “No. I was going to wait until I had more information than just ‘Hey, Rimmer was blown up.’”

    The doctor sighed. “Oh—right. Well, I’d call his family as quickly as possible and let them know what’s happened.” Maloney nodded. “All right. I’ll do it now.”

    The captain stepped from Rimmer’s bed, nodding to Talan and Avani. “Jor, Vani—with me.” The two followed their friend out of the medical bay and into the corridor.

    “What is it, Mal?” Avani asked. The captain sighed, rubbing his temples. “Just before Rimmer was in the explosion, Vani, Jor and I found a note that challenged me to a showdown in the mess hall tonight.”

    Avani shrugged her shoulders. “And? Just take a group of crewmen and arrest him at the appointed time.” Maloney shook his head. “No—he’s too smart for that, whoever he is. We have to play his game his way.” Avani groaned. “I don’t really care for your plan too much…but you are the captain.” Maloney smiled. “Thank you for noticing. Anyways, when I go on my leave, I’m going to go to the mess hall.”

    Talan shook his head. “I can’t believe you’re gonna be going there alone. If he kills you, he’ll get away scot free!” Maloney pointed a finger at the crewman. “Aha! That’s where you’re wrong, Jor. You and two other crewmen we’ll be waiting outside the mess hall door, in case he tries to make a break for it.” As Talan nodded, Avani spoke up.

    “But Mal, where am I gonna be?”

    Maloney smiled. “Well, Avani, you’ll be at the hangar bay with another pair of crewmembers.” Avani’s jaw dropped. “The hangar?! But then I won’t be near the action!” Maloney shrugged. “Maybe. If he gets past Jor and his men, then he’ll most likely make a run for the hangar to steal a ship.” Avani sighed. “All right, fine. I’ll be waiting at the hangar.” Maloney smiled coolly. “That’s my girl.”


    Hours passed as the crew on the Who’s Your Mama proceeded about their normal procedures, trying to push the explosion and Rimmer’s injury from their minds. It was hard to work when you constantly were plagued with the thoughts of a friend being blown up.

    Maloney checked in with the time and realized that it was only five minutes until it would be time for him to clock out and take his leave for the night. The captain gulped as he reached into a hidden pouch within his chair. Inside was a holstered pistol. After debating for a few moments, Maloney decided against strapping it on and got to his feet. Reaching for his comm, the captain entered the elevator and called for Talan.

    “Jor, this is Maloney. I’m heading for the mess hall.” Talan’s reply came back quickly. “All right, Mal. We’ll be there once you go in.” Maloney smiled. “All right. Maloney out.” As the captain finished speaking with Talan, he contacted Avani. “Avani here. What is it, Mal?”

    “I’m taking my leave, so I’ll be in the mess hall. You in the hangar?” He heard Avani snicker. “I told you I would be, didn’t I?” Maloney smiled himself. “I do know you, Vani. You’re not always the obedient type.”

    Avani laughed again. “All right. I’m really here.” Maloney nodded his affirmation. “Okay. I’ll speak to you when I get out.” “Hopefully,” Avani muttered as the captain stepped into the room.


    A room can be quite different when the lights are off.

    It was the first thing that Maloney realized when he entered the mess hall. There was no sign of anyone in the room. The captain was about to presume that the bomber was a no-show until a silhouetted figure shifted in the back of the cafeteria.

    “I’m here, Captain Maloney,” the figure called out, standing. “I’m no coward. Not like you.”

    The captain froze in place. “W-who are you? Why did you kill Ensign Ericson and blow up my corridor—and Corporal Rimmer?” The figured chuckled. “You are naïve, Captain. Don’t you know? It was all because of you.” The captain’s brow furrowed. “Me? How so?”

    The figure stopped next to a light switch. “Because of what you’ve done to me.” Reaching up, the man flicked the switch and light flooded the mess hall.

    Standing before him was…the Cook.

    Maloney’s jaw dropped. “The…the Cook! It’s you—the legendary member of the USS Italian, with Captain Spaghetti!”

    The elderly crewman before him offered a slight grin. “Yes—it does make since, after all—this is the mess hall.” Maloney shrugged. “That’s true.” His brow furrowed again. A role model or not, this man had killed a man and injured another. “Why did you do what you did, though? What have I done to you? Oh, by the way, how did you escape the zombie apocalypse? Most records say that you and the rest of your crew died.”

    The Cook nodded. “Yes, that is the general perception. I was only wounded slightly; the rest of my team took most of the damage.” He sighed. “I do miss my old friends from time to time.” His eyes flicked back up. “But back to you, Captain! The reason that I’m making you suffer is simple: You don’t go on the front lines of your missions. Captain Spaghetti was right out there with his men on their missions. Don’t try and deny it; I’ve seen you take charge of missions from the cockpit most of the time!”

    As he stepped forward, Maloney saw a kitchen knife resting on one of the plastic tables lined in the mess hall. The Cook must’ve seen it, too, because he warned, “Don’t go for it, Captain. I’ll have to fight you for it—maybe even kill, too.”

    Maloney took the warning and looked up to the Cook. “You’re not the hero I thought you were—you’ve killed defenseless and innocent men!” The Cook began to speak, but the captain cut him off. “All right, I’ll go on the front lines of my missions. I realize now how foolish I’ve been, letting my crew take the front lines.”

    The Cook shook his head. “It’s too late for that, Captain. You’ve gone too far in your cowardly ways. Now…you must pay for the lives that have been lost in your place!”

    Quickly, the Cook sprang forward, grabbing the kitchen knife. Maloney raised his hands in an effort to stop the Cook. However, they were of no use; the Cook brought the blade down swiftly into Maloney’s right shoulder. The captain cried out in pain as blood began to leak from the wound as the Cook climbed to his feet, bringing the blade with him.

    “Jor! Look out!” Maloney yelled in warning to his comrade. Before the Cook could react, the doors slid open and Talan and his two men stepped inside, pistols raised. “Hold i—” Talan started, but before he could finish, the Cook slashed him across the cheek with the blade. As the commander staggered back, the Cook quickly stabbed one of the men and cleaved through the other’s weapon. As he looked in surprise at his severed weapon, the Cook punched him in the nose. But before he could escape from the mess hall, Talan charged him and tackled him to the deck. The man let out a yell as he slammed into the metal floor with the muscular commander pinning him down. “Don’t move,” Talan ordered, pressing his weapon into the man’s gut. Realizing that he had lost, the Cook raised his hands.


    After the Cook had been tucked away in a prison cell and the four crewmembers had been patched up, Maloney was standing in the records room with Avani and Talan. The former was seated at a computer, typing in a report for the deceased Ensign Gordon Ericson.

    “…and let it be made clear that Ensign Ericson lost his life in the line of duty,” Maloney said as Avani finished her typing. “Okay...we’re all done.” The young woman turned and looked up to Maloney.

    “Tell me, Mal, why did the Cook go bonkers all of a sudden and try to kill you just for being…erm…cowardly?”

    Maloney shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess it’s just that that’s what he thought was the right thing.” After thinking for a moment, he added, “Also, when you’ve witnessed all of your friends being eaten alive and you yourself are munched on for a bit, you may lose your sanity just a bit.”

    Avani nodded. “That makes since.”

    Talan crossed his arms. “Say, Mal, how’s Rimmer feeling? Any progress?” Maloney stroked his chin. “Considering the circumstances, he’s doing better. He’s begun to speak to Doctor Tamsin a little, but mostly about things that he should know the answer to.” He let out a sigh. “That explosion sure has taken its toll on him.”

    Avani shook her head. “Not just him, Mal; all of us.” The captain smiled. “You’re right. You are very much right.”

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  • Didn't know Starbuggers already had a Wiki on it's own. Awesome.

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  • Here's the script for "Silence"! The hardest part was actually copying it...I had to go in and put an extra space in between each line in my document, because I copy-and-pasted your part, and that made it where a line was automatically skipped, so I figured that an actual LINE was there, but it wasn't... Just thank goodness it's done now. Hope you enjoy it!

    SILENCE: Starbuggers, Episode 4 SCENE 1: Starbug – Bridge The crew is celebrating the success of the previous mission, just as Maloney’s voiceover starts.

    MALONEY: Stardate: 2330. Place: My ship. Setting: A party. Atmosphere: crowded. I’m glad I’m not claustrophobic. Anyways, we have just finished our previous mission on the planet…I don’t know. I’ll have to ask Picard about that. However, we had a very, very successful victory. A few people died, yes—well, maybe half the team died, but still—but it was still very boss-like. That’s why I’m in charge. Cause I’m a boss. What are the points of these things, anyways? All I know is that Captain Kirk did them all the time. Maybe I should recruit him just for this job…

    The “Starbuggers” title pops onto the screen, and then fades away as the scene cuts to Maloney standing up at the end of the table that has been brought into the bridge.

    MALONEY: Alright everyone, I’d just like to propose a quick toast. Here’s to the brave and courageous leader who boldly rescued all your butts.

    MARI: Maloney, you spent most of that hiding under a box.

    MALONEY: … It was a tactical maneuver to outwit the enemy.

    JULIET: I suppose so was using your uniform as a temporary latrine?

    Everybody laughs. Maloney shifts uncomfortably in his seat.

    MALONEY: What? I really needed to go!

    MARI: You certainly left in a hurry when we found you.

    More laughter, more Maloney awkwardness.

    MARI: Well, that’s all well and good, but I’d also like to take a moment to remember the brave security team who gave their lives during the mission.

    CYWREN: I hope they’re in a better place.

    MALONEY: They’re in some creature’s stomach on an alien planet. It’s not exactly Golder’s Green.

    MARI: Thank you for giving us that lovely mental picture just as we’re eating dinner.

    PICARD: Enough speaking, there’s a nice big chocolate cake on the other side of the table with my name on it.

    CYWREN: Just you try and get a slice of that past me.

    PICARD: You just watch me!

    CYWREN: Come get some.

    MALONEY: Oh it is going down. Come on, place your bets, who’s going to get the cake? I bet 20 on Cywren.

    PICARD: Hey!

    MALONEY: Sorry bud, she’s just gonna win.

    PICARD: Okay. *Thinks* Wait… Hey!

    SCENE 2: Slave I – Cockpit

    In the cockpit seat of Slave I, Boba Fett watches as he closes in on the Starbug. He lets out a grim chuckle.

    FETT: I’ve waited for this for a long time, Captain Maloney. Now I can fulfill my promise.

    He reaches down to a lever, sending his ship on a zoom down beneath the Starbug.

    SCENE 3: Starbug – Bridge

    Maloney and the group are laughing at Picard, who is lying on the ground with a slab of cake on his face. He shakes his head as the captain laughs.

    MARI: Man, Cywren, that was one heck of a show. I’m sure Casey would’ve loved to have been here to see you show off that strong arm.

    CYWREN: Yes, I’m sure he would’ve. Where is he, anyways? Ogling some unsuspecting crewmember?

    RIMMER: Nah, he had a later shift.

    The conversation cuts to Maloney, who is helping the downed admiral to his feet.

    MALONEY: Good show, Admiral.

    PICARD: Why don’t you jump into a Sarlaac pit, Maloney…

    Before Maloney can counter, Starbug interrupts.

    STARBUG: Captain, the scanners are showing a ship under our main hull. It is a Firespray-class freighter, with heavily modified weapon systems and a custom paint scheme. It’s unlike any I’ve ever seen before. That is, if I could actually see them, not scan them…

    Maloney cuts him off in the middle of his trailing off.

    MALONEY: Did you say a Firespray, Starbug?

    STARBUG: Yes, Captain, I did.

    Picard, Juliet, Cywren, Mari, and Rimmer all leave their places at the table.

    PICARD: Do you know this ship, Maloney?

    The captain shakes his head, turning around.

    MALONEY: He…he couldn’t have found me. Not after all this time.

    MARI: Maloney? What are you talking about?

    The captain doesn’t respond though; he simply continues to shake his head as his mind drifts off into a flashback sequence.

    SCENE 4: Zepisia, Pirate Stronghold – Generator Room *FLASHBACK*

    Maloney and four crewmembers—three armed men and a younger woman, his old friend Avani—are entering the pirate stronghold’s generator room.

    AVANI: Couldn’t you have jumped into the rescue, like, five minutes earlier? That’s when King Grunbag was making his forward advances on me! I’m twenty-one, for crying out loud! I wasn’t ready for some old intergalactic crime lord to hit on me.

    MALONEY: Look on the bright side: he didn’t lay a hand on you!

    Avani rolls her eyes.

    AVANI: He did. That’s why he was on the ground when you came bursting in, yelling, “Intergalactic Police Department! Hands in the air!”

    The captain shakes his head, hiding his embarrassment.

    MALONEY: How was I supposed to no there was no such thing?

    CREWMAN 1: Well, sir, we have traveled across the galaxy, so—

    MALONEY: Just shut it.

    CREWMAN 1: Affirmative, sir.

    The captain points to a generator.

    MALONEY: There it is. We need to just keep focused on the mission and plant this charges.

    AVANI: On it.

    The young woman starts placing detonation charges on the main generator. The crewmen are in their positions, weapons raised. Maloney is standing at Avani’s side, his pistol upright.

    MALONEY: Hurry—something’s telling me that this mission won’t end well.

    SCENE 5: Starbug – Bridge

    Mari is shaking Maloney’s shoulder.

    MARI: Maloney! Look at me!

    The captain shakes his head.

    MALONEY: Huh? What happened?

    JULIET: You blanked out, that’s what happened. I don’t know why, but you just phased out.

    Maloney flashes her one of his trademark grins.

    MALONEY: Aw, I’m fine. I must’ve just…

    MARI: …been yourself?

    The captain ignores her, turning to the viewscreen looking out into space.

    MALONEY: Where is the ship now?

    STARBUG: He’s still under the hull. I don’t know what—

    But before the interface can finish, a loud sound of static cuts him off and causes the crew on the bridge to cover their ears. After it wears off, Picard leans over the console.

    PICARD: Starbug? Starbug?!

    RIMMER: He’s not responding…

    Maloney rolls his eyes, throwing his hands up in the air.

    MALONEY: Well thanks, Captain Obvious!

    Mari snorts and then mutters under her breath.

    MARI: Look who’s talking…

    Maloney ignores her and turns to speak to the Rimmer.

    MALONEY: Rim, get on the comm system and get the bridge crew up here. We need some help—

    But before he can finish, Maloney is cut off as the lights shut off. The captain gulps, looking to the consoles across the bridge. They are all blinking and fading out, causing him to grow uneasy.

    MALONEY: Oh boy…this does not look good.

    SCENE 6: Starbug – Corridor

    A trio of crewmembers is walking down a corridor just as the lights fade out. They all stop, looking to one another. The first, a female, speaks.

    CREWMEMBER 1: That doesn’t look good.

    CREWMEMBER 2: What? I can’t see a thing.

    The woman rolls her eyes.

    CREWMEMBER 1: You know what I mean.

    As she continues to talk, neither notices the new figure appear behind the third man. The shadowy figure quickly slams down with an object, sending the third crewman down. The two stop mid-conversation.

    CREWMEMBER 2: Billy-Bob was still behind us, right…?

    CREWMEMBER 1: I thought so…

    They look back to where their comrade had just been standing, only to see an armored man standing there now.

    FETT: Hello there.

    Neither can scream as Fett raises a blaster, firing a shot at the male’s head, just as the scene cuts.

    SCENE 7: Starbug – Bridge

    The team stops mid-arguing as the sounds of the shots enter the bridge.

    JULIET: Were those…blaster shots?

    MARI: If they weren’t, I don’t know what they could be.

    Cywren rubs her chin.

    CYWREN: I think the logical solution would be to scan the ship for any signs of an intruder.

    She turns to Picard.

    CYWREN: Picard and I will stay here in the bridge, in case anything happens. Mari and Rimmer will go start in the mess hall and sweep the whole left side of the ship. Maloney and Juliet will take the right side.

    The team all nods, except for Mari.

    MARI: What?! I have to be stuck with Rimmer? He is a total, total…A word has yet to be invented to describe how totally whatever-it-is he is but he is one, and a total, total one at that.

    Rimmer and Maloney scratch the heads as Juliet looks on in confusion.

    PICARD: Oooo-kay then.

    SCENE 8: Starbug – Corridor

    Maloney and Juliet are checking nooks and crannies in their corridor. They stop at the corner at the end, and Maloney shudders. Juliet turns to look at him.

    JULIET: Look, it’s okay, you don’t have to check around the corner.

    MALONEY: Oh thank God.

    JULIET: *sighs, starts towards the corner*

    MALONEY: No, wait! I don’t feel good about letting you go by yourself. I’ll do it.

    JULIET: You’re scared, aren’t you?

    MALONEY: *nervous laugh* Why would you… say that? I’m not… I’m not scared.

    JULIET: *laugh* You are scared!

    MALONEY: That’s not exactly the word I’d use.

    JULIET: Oh yeah, what word would you use?

    MALONEY: Terrified. JULIET: Good choice.

    MALONEY: Well it was that or ippicacuana. Ippicacuana is such an ugly word.

    JULIET: How about goosenaggers?

    MALONEY: … Actually that’s perfect. Yeah, I’m feeling very goosenaggers right now.

    JULIET: Though I wouldn’t wear out your goosenaggers.

    MALONEY: Of course not. I always save my goosenaggers for a rainy day.

    JULIET: *laughs* Feeling better?

    MALONEY: Yeah, I think so. I’m just going around the corner now. Wish me luck.

    JULIET: Okay then, good luck.

    MALONEY: Thanks.

    Maloney goes around the corner. Juliet waits for him for a few seconds but he doesn’t come back.

    JULIET: Maloney? … Are you still there? … I know you’re still there! … Maloney?

    Juliet follows Maloney around the corner. Maloney jumps from behind the wall and frightens her.



    MALONEY: *laughs*

    JULIET: Oh, you little butt! *punches him, laughs*

    Suddenly, a banging noise sounds behind them. Maloney jumps against the wall, yelping with a high pitch. Juliet, after recovering from the noise, looks at him.

    JULIET: Was that you?

    Maloney slowly backs down from up the wall.

    MALONEY: Erm…no. Of course not. There must be…a little girl stowing away onboard. Yeah, that’s it.

    Juliet crosses her arms.

    JULIET: Oh, okay. Where is she?

    MALONEY: Who?

    JULIET: The little girl!

    The captain let’s out an “hmm” as he scratches his chin, thinking. Juliet shakes her head as she turns around.

    MALONEY: Wait…you’re not going to check that out, are you?

    JULIET: Of course. It could be the intruder.

    Maloney shakes his head, rubbing his temples.

    JULIET: Maloney? Is something wrong?

    Maloney looks up at her, a look of horror in his eyes. She can sense his fear easily.

    MALONEY: This man…is like no other. H-he’s a monster, Juliet! I saw him…I saw him do it…

    JULIET: What, Maloney? What on Earth did he do to make you act like this?

    Maloney sighs, crossing his arms. MALONEY: A few months ago, before Mari, Picard, and Rimmer joined my crew, when I was in command of the original USS Who’s Your Mama, I had an assignment on the planet Zepisia, where an evil crime lord named Grunbag was residing. One of my crewmembers, a girl named Avani, was planted as a mole in his fortress. Once the time came, I led a strike force in, and we infiltrated his generator room to blow it. That’s when he came…

    SCENE 9: Zepisia, Pirate Stronghold – Generator Room *FLASHBACK*

    Avani is placing detonators as one of the crewmen freezes. CREWMAN 2: Sir! We have incoming!

    Maloney nods, turning to Avani, who is drawing her own sidearm.

    MALONEY: Stay down, Avani. Try and plant as many detonators as you can. We need this stronghold crippled so the Who’s Your Mama can attack!

    Avani nods, moving to another piece of the generator. Gunfire starts to exchange at the entrance of the generator room, where a lone figure is blasting at Maloney and his crewmen. One of the crewmembers is hit and collapses.

    CREWMAN 1: This guy put up one heck of a fight…

    MALONEY: *nods* You’ve got that right!

    Suddenly, all of the shooting stops. Maloney and his lone ally stand side by side, waiting for the figure to burst in. Only a lone detonator rolls in.

    MALONEY: Get to cover!

    The captain dives to the side, rolling into the wall, as the other crewman scrambles to the side. The detonator explodes as the crewmember hunches down in the corner. The figure from before—Boba Fett—enters the generator room. He examines the surrounding area, believing that both the crewman and Maloney are dead and he doesn’t see Avani.

    FETT: This was too easy.

    He steps towards a generator to place down a detonator of his own, only to see one of Avani’s already placed.

    FETT: Wait—What the—?!

    Before he can react, Avani jumps up, firing her weapon and hitting Fett in the chestplate. The bounty hunter collapses onto his back as Avani runs, tearing the trigger for the detonators from her belt. But before she can press the button, Fett draws his own blaster and fires, sending Avani to the ground. As he climbs to his feet, the crewman stands up and darts at the bounty hunter.

    CREWMAN 1: You murderer!

    Fett chuckles, grabbing the crewman (who has wrapped his arms around Fett’s neck in a chokehold) and throwing him into the ground. Before the crewman can reach for a weapon, Fett aims his weapon and fires a flurry of shots, killing him. As he does so, Maloney awakens to see Fett standing over his comrades’ dead bodies. As Fett turns back to look at the limp Maloney in the corner, the captain closes his eyes and lies down, “dead.”

    FETT: What a pathetic crew. I could’ve done this with my helmet’s visor pitch-black.

    He turns to set his own detonators on the remaining generators and goes to pick up Avani’s. He walks by Maloney’s body, turning to glance at the captain, as if he notices something. Then he continues out of the room, and once he does so, Maloney jumps up and runs out.

    SCENE 10: Starbug – Corridor

    Maloney and Juliet are still standing in the corridor as Maloney finishes his story.

    MALONEY: I ran as far as I could and contacted the Who’s Your Mama for an evac. But I saw as Fett flew off in his ship and blew my ship—my whole crew—to smithereens.

    He sighs, shaking his head.

    MALONEY: He killed my only friends in the whole universe.

    Juliet places a hand on his shoulder. Maloney glances up at her, a look of surprise on his face.

    JULIET: I-I’m sorry, Maloney. I can’t even begin to imagine how it must’ve felt.

    Suddenly, applause sounds to their side. Boba Fett steps out of the shadows, his clapping slowing down.

    FETT: Well, well, well. If it isn’t Captain Maloney. “Back from the Dead.”

    Maloney sneers, standing in front of Juliet.

    MALONEY: Don’t harm any of my crew, Fett! It’s me you want. Just kill me and leave them alone.

    Fett chuckles, brandishing his blaster. Maloney’s eyes widen.

    FETT: If that’s what you want…

    MALONEY: *chuckles* On second thought, maybe we could talk about a ransom?

    The bounty hunter lowers his weapon.

    FETT: I’m not here to kill you, Maloney. I’m here for her.

    He points a finger at Juliet.

    FETT: But, since I could kill two birds with one stone, I might as well take this chance. Did you really think I was stupid enough to not realize your breathing on Zepisia, Captain?

    Maloney blushes, turning to Juliet. He shrugs slowly.

    MALONEY: Look, I studied to be a starship captain, not an actor. I don’t know how to look like a dead guy! I’ve never been dead before.

    Fett raises his blaster.

    FETT: That can be arranged, Captain.

    But before he can fire, a hard clang sounds out as a blunt object smashes into his helmet, sending him to the ground. Mari—with a metal bar—and Rimmer are standing behind Fett’s body.

    MARI: Run!

    Maloney and Juliet follow her command, darting off into the ship’s corridors. They hear Rimmer and Mari screaming as they run off, and Maloney looks over his shoulder. Fett is standing up, his weapon raised.

    FETT: You can’t run from me!

    JULIET: Oh yeah? Wanna bet?!

    MALONEY: Don’t provoke him, Juliet!

    JULIET: Don’t provoke him? And I guess you think Mari smashing him in the head with a metal stick isn’t?!

    Maloney rolls his eyes.

    MALONEY: Just keep running.

    SCENE 11: Starbug – Bridge

    As Picard finishes telling an old war story to Cywren, Mari and Rimmer burst in.

    MARI: Picard! We found the intruder. It’s Boba Fett.

    Cywren jumps up from her seat.

    CYWREN: Boba Fett? You mean the Boba Fett in green-painted battle armor?

    Mari nods.

    MARI: Yep. That’s the one.

    Cywren turns around, rubbing her chin.

    CYWREN: Hmm…this isn’t good. Not at all.

    Picard stands, moving beside Rimmer and Mari.

    PICARD: Do you know this Boba Fett character, Cywren? What is he capable of?

    Cywren turns to face the crewmembers of the Starbug.

    CYWREN: He’s capable of killing every person on this ship and blowing it up.

    Rimmer’s jaw drops.

    RIMMER: I…think I may need to go to my quarters.

    MARI: Why? What for?

    RIMMER: I need a change of clothes.

    CYWREN: Does he always act like Maloney?

    Picard shrugs his shoulders.

    PICARD: Eh, it’s family. One of his brothers married Maloney’s sister.

    MARI: Wait…Maloney has a sister?

    CYWREN: They’re brother-in-laws?

    RIMMER: Wait…which brother are we talking about?

    Picard slaps his palm to his face.

    PICARD: The one that married—Oh, never mind.

    He turns to Mari.

    PICARD: Mari, I need you to round up a group of able-minded crewmen to come and help us search the ship for Boba Fett.

    Mari nods.

    MARI: Sure thing.

    As she leaves the bridge, Picard turns to Cywren.

    PICARD: Cywren, I need you to monitor the consoles. Tell me if anything comes online.

    CYWREN: Got it.

    As she sits down, Picard turns to Rimmer, who is standing uneasily.

    PICARD: Rimmer, I need you…to go to your quarters and change into another uniform.

    RIMMER: Yes, sir, Admiral.

    As he exits the bridge, Picard turns back to look out into the void of space.

    SCENE 12: Starbug – Corridor

    Maloney and Juliet are running down the corridors of Starbug.

    MALONEY: Take a left!

    As they run, Maloney turns to the right as Juliet goes left. As the camera stays on a view of the fork, they both run back to one another.

    MALONEY: Why didn’t you follow me?!

    JULIET: You said take a left.

    The captain rolls his eyes.

    MALONEY: Whatever. It doesn’t matter anyways.

    Suddenly, blasts fire from behind Maloney and sail down the corridor, hitting various parts of the wall. He spins around, seeing Fett running down the corridor and firing his blaster.

    MALONEY: Okay, it does matter…GO LEFT!

    The two quickly turn and run down the left corridor as Fett proceeds in his pursuit.

    SCENE 13: Starbug – Bridge

    Picard, Mari, and Cywren are standing before a group of crewmen—including Rimmer and Casey. Cywren is pacing the bridge, briefing them on their mission.

    CYWREN: You know the mission, men; hunt down Boba Fett and do anything you can to stop him. Kill him if you must. We need to get the captain and Juliet back as safely as possible.

    As she continues to pace, Casey nudges a crewman.

    CASEY: Do you know she’s into me, pal?

    Cywren stops short, turning to Casey.

    CYWREN: Did I ever mention that I have a husband, Casey?

    The crewman’s jaw drops.

    CASEY: Erm…a husband? Really?!

    Cywren nods.

    CYWREN: Yep. A husband.

    The shock is present on all of the faces of the crewmembers in the bridge—even Picard and Mari are shocked.

    MARI: This is really the day for bombs to drop. First Maloney and Rimmer are related, and now Cywren has a husband?

    Picard shrugs his shoulders.

    PICARD: I’m honestly lost, Mari.

    Cywren gets the whole team back on track from the intercession of the reveal of her marital status.

    CYWREN: Anyways—are we clear on the mission, men? Any questions?

    The crew assembled shakes their heads. Cywren nods.

    CYWREN: Very well. Get started.

    PICARD: Mari, you’ll be going on this mission too.

    MARI: Oh no…do I have to be stuck with Rimmer again?

    Picard sighs as Cywren points to the group.

    CYWREN: Mari…

    MARI: Fine.

    As she groans, stomping off towards the group, Cywren turns to Picard.

    CYWREN: Are they always like this?

    Picard shrugs.

    PICARD: Yep. Actually, this is nothing; once, Mari took my ship from my command. Then she got it blown up. I was lucky to escape with my life.

    Cywren nods.

    CYWREN: It looks like I’m in for quite a ride with this group, then.

    PICARD: You sure are.

    SCENE 14: Starbug – Cargo Hold

    Maloney and Juliet speed past the cargo hold, only for Maloney to grab Juliet’s wrist.

    MALONEY: Wait—let’s go in here!

    JULIET: Sure. It beats running in circles throughout the ship’s corridors with a bounty hunter on our tails. The two proceed to enter the cargo hold, where several containers are stacked. The sound of footsteps outside cause Maloney and Juliet to dart further into the hold, where Maloney finds a closet.

    MALONEY: Here! We can hide ourselves in this closet. The two quickly rush inside and Maloney shuts the door; both he and Juliet are standing with their backs pressed against the walls. That’s when they realize that they are mere inches apart from one another.

    MALONEY: *chuckles* Well…this is awkward.

    JULIET: *chuckles too* Yeah…I guess it is.

    The two look down to the ground, and then Maloney looks up to Juliet. She looks back up to him. They then begin to close the gap, only for a loud crash outside to interrupt their calm, peaceful moment.

    JULIET: *whispers* What was that?

    MALONEY: *whispers* I don’t know…wanna check?

    JULIET: *whispers* You mean together?

    MALONEY: *whispers* Erm…sure. Why not?

    He then reaches for the door, only to realize that they are too tight in to get out.

    MALONEY: Here…scoot behind me.

    JULIET: That’s easier said than done.

    Maloney rolls his eyes.

    MALONEY: Just try it.

    JULIET: Fine. I’ll try it.

    She then scoots behind Maloney as much as she can (the tight space is cramped even more). Maloney then shoves against the door.

    MALONEY: Oh Sviggles…the door won’t budge.

    Juliet motions to the handle.

    JULIET: Why don’t you try the knob?

    The captain chuckles lightly as he opens the door.

    MALONEY: Yeah…thanks.

    The two then exit the room, only to find the hold empty.

    MALONEY: Well…I guess that he must’ve figured no one was here.

    FETT: Guess again.

    Suddenly, the two spin around to see Fett standing behind them in the shadows, weapon raised.

    FETT: Greetings, captain. Long time no see.

    Maloney begins to quiver and shake.

    MALONEY: R-r-r-run!

    Quickly, he and Juliet spin around, darting for the exit as Fett draws his weapon, blasting off multiple shots. They are, however, able to burst outside as his shots ricochet off the walls.

    SCENE 15: Starbug – Corridor

    Mari, Rimmer, and a group of four crewmembers are walking down the corridor. The screams of Maloney and Juliet—mostly Maloney—sound out and the group raises their weapons.

    RIMMER: That sounds like Captain Maloney.

    CREWMEMBER 3: It sure does. More him than Juliet.

    Before anyone else can respond, they see Maloney and Juliet running down the corridor towards them.

    MALONEY: Run! He’s coming!

    MARI: All crewmembers! Stand your ground. We can get this bounty hunter.

    As Maloney and Juliet pound closer, Fett steps out, his wrist launcher raised. He fires one rocket and, as he does so, the crewmembers get down to their knees, raising their rifles. They begin to fire just as Maloney and Juliet get behind them. Fett uses his jetpack to soar over the laser bolts, drawing his blaster. He fires several shots that take down the first two crewmembers, leaving Mari, Rimmer, and their two comrades to fire their weapons at the bounty hunter.

    CREWMEMBER 3: Get back! We’ll handle this jabberwocky. RIMMER: A jabber-whaty?

    MARI: Just run!

    Juliet, as she runs beside Maloney, Mari, and Rimmer, speaks to the others as the two crewmen are cut down by Fett.

    JULIET: Is there an airlock on the ship?

    RIMMER: Oh, yeah! It’s just a few turns up ahead.

    MARI: Wait…we have an airlock here?

    RIMMER: Of course. That’s where Jiminy Giblets disappeared to.

    MARI: Well…remind me never to go with you to an airlock, Rimmer.

    RIMMER: Sure thing. If I remember to, that is. SCENE 16: Starbug – Airlock

    The group of four turns the corner with the airlock just ahead.

    RIMMER: There it is!

    He turns just in time to see Fett zipping around the corner, firing his blaster. A shot zooms out, slamming into the crewman’s shoulder.

    MALONEY: Rimmer!

    RIMMER: Just…go on without me. I’ll make it…

    MALONEY: Okay, whatever you say.

    RIMMER: Wai—No, not really! Get back here, Maloney!

    But Fett, his target set on Juliet, flies over Rimmer’s downed body, aiming his rifle. He fires a stun blast that slams into Mari’s back, sending her to the ground. He lands in the corridor, weapon raised.

    FETT: Stop, Captain. This game of cat and mouse is over.

    Maloney and Juliet stop in the middle of the walkway, meters away from the airlock controls. The bounty hunter begins to march towards them slowly.

    FETT: Now, Ms. Juliet, I’d be pleased if you’d step to the side so I could dispose of Captain Maloney here.

    JULIET: No. I won’t.

    FETT: *chuckles* Look, ma’am, I’m trying to be nice about this. The Empire said they wanted you; not necessarily alive.

    JULIET: The Empire…?

    FETT: You’ve got five seconds. Five. Four.

    MALONEY: Hold it!

    FETT: Yes, Captain? A suggestion?

    Maloney smirks, crossing his arms.

    MALONEY: Yes. Hand over your blaster.

    The bounty hunter stares in silence, and then bursts out laughing.

    FETT: That’s…humorous, Captain. Very much so. Now *raises blaster* over here, ma’am.

    As he waits for Juliet to move, he is unaware as Mari, who is regaining consciousness, is grabbing her sidearm. She fires the weapon, hitting Fett’s jetpack, sending him careening down the corridor.

    MARI: Maloney! Get to the controls!

    Juliet watches as Fett flies down the corridor at her and Maloney, who is darting for the airlock controls. As Fett flies down, he stretches out, grabbing Juliet. Maloney turns, only to see the two of them fly into him, knocking him to the ground. As Fett regains his feet, Maloney grabs the bounty hunter’s rifle, raising it up.

    MALONEY: Hold it, Fett!

    Fett, however, has Juliet in a chokehold.

    FETT: Don’t do it, Captain. If you don’t put that blaster down, I’ll snap her neck like it’s a twig.

    Maloney’s face grows pale as he lowers the blaster.

    MALONEY: You…wouldn’t…

    FETT: Oh yeah? Watch me.

    He tightens his grip around Juliet’s throat.

    MALONEY: Okay, hold on!

    He lowers the weapon, dropping it on the ground.

    MALONEY: We have a deal.

    Fett loosens his grip on Juliet.

    FETT: Good. I didn’t want to kill any more than I have already. I may kill people when I must, but I don’t when I can avoid it.

    JULIET: I find that hard to believe. What about Maloney’s old crew?

    FETT: They were mere…pieces of the game. Poor fools drawn into the mix.

    MALONEY: You didn’t have to kill them!

    FETT: Then they would’ve killed me, Captain. In my line of work, it’s kill or be killed. There’s no alternative to it.

    Just as Maloney starts to respond, Juliet snaps back with her arm, jabbing her elbow into Fett’s gut. The bounty hunter grunts as she pulls away. Maloney goes for his rifle, but the bounty hunter throws himself into Maloney, who in turn flies into the wall.

    FETT: I don’t think so, Captain.

    MALONEY: Don’t worry, Fett. I’ve got you right where I want you. Juliet, NOW!

    Juliet nods, darting for the airlock controls.

    FETT: What the—?! Get back here!

    Fett darts at Juliet, but she is already at the controls as he catches up on her. Just as he stretches out to grab ahold of something, the airlock opens, sucking him out into the abyss. Maloney, Mari, Juliet, and Rimmer have already grabbed something to stop them from being pulled into space’s vacuum as Juliet shuts the airlock after Fett disappears.

    MARI: Well…that was difficult.

    MALONEY: You can say that again.

    SCENE 17: Starbug – Bridge

    Maloney, Picard, Mari, Cywren, and Juliet are all in the bridge. The power has all been cut back on, so Starbug is conversing with the group.

    STARBUG: I didn’t know what in tarnation had happened to me. One second, I’m tracking that Firespray and the next I’m out like a light.

    MARI: Oh, all you did was miss out on a whole encounter with a dangerous bounty hunter who was trying to kidnap Juliet and kill Maloney. Nothing too big.

    STARBUG: Yes. I see. It was a good thing that I chose then to die out. I could possibly miss the next exciting mission, such as going to incinerate the captain’s temporary bathroom-uniform.

    MALONEY: Excuuuuuse me?

    The group chuckles as Starbug begins to stutter.

    STARBUG: I-I don’t understand. What did I do?

    PICARD: Don’t worry, Starbug. Nothing too big.

    SCENE 18: Space

    Boba Fett is floating in the void of space as Slave I approaches. As he begins to float towards it, a helmeted figure floats into his view.

    CARPENTER: Hello there. The name’s Commander Carpenter, I am an emissary for the Galactic Alliance Intelligence Militia. That is, was.

    He motions towards the Starbug in the distance.

    CARPENTER: Got you too, eh?

    FETT: Hmm…

    CARPENTER: Not really a talker, huh?

    Slave I stops in front of the two and, as the ramp opens and Fett climbs aboard, Carpenter comes closer.

    CARPENTER: Wait…can I come with you? I need to get back to base.

    FETT: Let’s see about that…no.

    The ramp shuts and Slave I soars off into space, leaving Carpenter floating by himself.

    CARPENTER: Well poodoo.

    The credits then begin to roll, but after them, an after-credits scene starts to play.

    SCENE 21 (AFTER-CREDITS): Imperial Star Destroyer – The Emperor’s Chambers

    The Emperor is standing in the middle of his chamber, with Darth Vader at his side. Grand Admiral Thrawn is standing before him.

    PALPATINE: Well, Grand Admiral…how is the fleet progressing?

    THRAWN: Everything is going well, my lord. With your new elite troopers added into the military, we are superior to any other force in the galaxy. PALPATINE: Very well.

    He turns to Vader.

    PALPATINE: See, Lord Vader? My new additions are increasing the Empire’s strength.

    VADER: Yes, my master, but what of your other agent?

    Palpatine chuckles, motioning to the end of the chamber. While the door opens off screen, the shot keeps focused on Vader’s helmeted head.

    VADER: Oh…this was unexpected.

      Loading editor
  • Okay, I've decided that we'll get this whole timeline settled. I've already set The Undead a year before Takeoff, but I don't know where to put the rest of the short stories. Were the series 1 episodes all in the same year? And when was A Profitable Venture supposed to take place?

    • ??? - A Profitable Venture
    • ??? - The VT space videos
    • 2339 - The Undead
    • 2340 - Discovery
    • 2340 - Emperor's Hand
    • 2340 - Takeoff
    • 2340 - Legends of the Force
    • 2340 - A Hard Day's Fight
    • 2340 - Silence
    • 2340 - Initiation
    • 2340 - Bad Planet
    • 2340 - Feelings
    • 2340 - Purge Environs
      Loading editor
  • Here's my latest story! It's replacing the sequel to "Emperor's Hand," I just figured this would serve better as an introduction to the zombies in the Starbuggers 'verse. I'm planning this to be a trilogy of short stories, hence the cliffhanger ending. Enjoy!

    THE UNDEAD: A Starbuggers Story

    There was no possible way that help was going to arrive on such a lonesome planet like Alturan. That’s one of the reasons it’s called the “Planet of No Return.”

    Commander Sam Beltris sighed, rubbing his temples. The officer had been onboard the USS Who’s Your Mama 2, serving as a top naval executive alongside Captain Maloney and Commander Mari Tann. That is, until he was sent off on this mission.

    The one that left him—and his crew—stranded.

    “Sir,” one of the younger crewmembers, a female named Zev, spoke, stepping towards him. While Beltris himself wasn’t that old—he was glad to proclaim himself at the ripe age of twenty-nine—he didn’t really feel that young. That’s what leadership does to you, Commander, Maloney had told him once before.

    Yet even while Maloney was in command of a whole starship, he had the mind of a child—seemingly.

    “What is it, Zev?” Beltris asked, cocking his sandy-blonde-haired head to the young cadet. She stood at attention, holding out a datapad.

    “We’re picking up scans of a ship coming towards the planet. It’s dropping out of atmosphere now.”

    Beltris had to see this. No ship would come out to rescue this crew—Maloney surely hadn’t heard of their disappearance yet. And he certainly wouldn’t have thrown a rescue party together this quickly, either.

    “Do we have any emblems on it? A classification of its allegiance? For all we know, it could be a Klingon transport.”

    One of the other crewmembers, an older, war-hardened man named Adam Bridger, shook his head. “I highly doubt it, sir. Klingons don’t venture out to unknown worlds with just a small transport.”

    “Then what the kriff is it?!” Beltris demanded, spinning to Bridger. The older crewman shook his head. “I cannot say, Commander.”

    Beltris turned his head, his eyes narrowing as the ship approached. The other members of his strike force were running about, gathering whatever weapons they had. He knew that each of the crew were equipped with at least a pistol. There was a rack inside their own ship—which now was lying in a heap on top of a mountain ridge—that was filled with rifles.

    “Salvage whatever gear you can from the ship, then run for cover! We don’t know who’s on this ship, so take no chances!”

    Beltris drew his sidearm, motioning to Bridger and Zev. “Get down!” he ordered, crouching. The two followed his command, getting low to the ground. Three other crewmembers—two men, whom Beltris knew as Mikael and Fletcher, and a woman named Sara—joined them. Mikael was armed with one of the rifles from the ship, and Fletcher and Sara each had a pistol and a case of survival gear.

    “That ship doesn’t seem to be that…hostile,” Mikael observed, keeping himself lowered to the ground. Beltris nodded in agreement. “Yes…but it could be a ruse. We stand up, and boom.”

    Zev’s face grew pale. “Really?” Bridger nodded solemnly. “I’m afraid so. Things are not as peaceful as they used to be.”

    But the ship wasn’t lowering to land. It was simply drifting without any signs of a pilot directing it. In fact, it was drifting straight for the spiked point where the crew had crash-landed.

    “What are they doing? Do they even have a pilot onboard?!” Fletcher shouted. “Maybe they’re all dead,” Sara suggested. No one added anything to her comment.

    The slow shuttle didn’t make any move to dodge the spire as it slammed into both the rock face and the remnants of the strike force’s ship. The remaining crewmembers that had surrounded themselves by the shuttle were instantly thrown as the rock began to crumble.

    Dust spewed into the air, filling the whole sky with a tanned color. Beltris and his comrades covered their faces to prevent any of the dirt and rock shards from flying into their eyes, noses, or mouths, yet they stood their ground.

    After the debris had settled down, Beltris lowered his hand. No one—nothing—emerged from the ship. Within a period of two minutes, Beltris’s curiosity caused him to investigate. “Come on,” he said, waving with a hand.

    The six crewmembers slowly marched from their cover. No other survivors were in sight. They either were dead or had made it away from the site entirely.

    Each of the group gripped their weapons tightly. Mikael stood to one side of Beltris, his rifle extended outwards. Zev—who had her weapon held the least tightly—stood behind both Bridger and Beltris.

    “I don’t like the looks of this,” Fletcher muttered. From the small amount of time Beltris had spent with this member of his team, he deduced that he was the most negative of them all.

    Soon, the team had reached the shell of the ship. There were no emblems known to Beltris’s mind, only a few markings that looked like some insignia of a pirate gang or something.

    A message was written underneath the largest of the symbols. “I can’t read this,” Beltris said, shaking his head. “Can anyone decipher what it says?”

    “I can, sir. It’s Klingonese,” Zev piped up, quickly returning her sidearm to its holster at her thigh. From the swift movements, it seemed as if she had been waiting to do exactly that.

    Zev put her face up to the scrawling. “It’s some sort of name they must’ve given themselves, Commander. It says…‘The Infinities.’”

    Mikael snorted, lowering his laser rifle. “Some infinity. They crash-landed right into this hellhole.”

    Beltris nodded in agreement. “Yes.” He raised his pistol. “Let’s try and find a way inside.” Fletcher stepped back. “How about no? I don’t think it’d be wise to go tampering with some random ship that just dropped out of the atmosphere. What if there’s some disease inside? Or the crew’s still alive? We’d be blown to bits!”

    Bridger shrugged his shoulders. “Possibly. But it beats running around in circles searching for a way off this rock.”

    Fletcher chuckled. “You guys really are insane, I think. I’m not gonna waste my time possibly getting my tail shot off.”

    Just as he turned, Fletcher was met by a…thing. The creature was padded in some sort of uniform—it may have been the design of the crew of the ship. Because that’s where it came from: a hole in the lower end of the shuttle.”

    “What the—?” Fletcher started, but was cut off as the creature tackled into him and bit with its teeth, sinking its fangs into his arm. Sara yelled out in alarm as he cried out in pain. “Fletch!” she barked as Mikael raised his rifle, blasting off a shot into the creature’s skull.

    Sara dove down to Fletcher’s side as Mikael sat down beside him. Beltris and Bridger kept their weapons aimed steadily as Zev watched the whole scene in horror and surprise.

    “How is he?” Beltris asked, looking over his shoulder. Mikael gritted his teeth together. “I can’t tell…This thing’s bite is starting to turn purple.”

    His curiosity piqued, Beltris turned around. “That’s not normal for a bite,” he said, kneeling down. Mikael chuckled. “And a wild maniac doing the biting is?”

    Ignoring Mikael’s comment, Beltris tore a sliver from his sleeve and wrapped it around the wound on Fletcher’s arm. “Zev, you and Sara carry Fletcher. Mikael will watch our back and Bridger and I will watch the front.”

    The team nodded, gathering up their gear. Zev and Sara each had one of Fletcher’s arms over their necks, holding him up. He was, at the moment, unresponsive. The group all silently prayed that he wouldn’t stay that way.

    After a trek that spanned for a half hour, the group had found a small outcropping. In that time, Fletcher had begun to grow more responsive, but not much; all he could do was bob his head every so often.

    The team had settled into the small cave that they called home for now. They hadn’t bothered to check into the rest of the ship in case other creatures like the one were in there.

    Beltris stood at the cave’s entrance with Bridger. The two had been through a lot prior to Beltris’s promotion to commander of a strike force; Bridger had been Beltris’s mentor during his early days as a cadet onboard the ship.

    “How are we supposed to get out of this mess?” Beltris asked, looking to Bridger. The older man shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t look at me, Sam. You’re the commander.”

    Beltris sighed. “I guess that is right.” Before either man could speak again, a call from Sara alerted them. “Fletch!”

    The young woman had bounded over to her friend, wrapping her arms around his neck. Before she could continue the embrace, though, an eerily familiar growl came from her old friend. “F-Fletch?”

    Suddenly, Fletcher lurched forward, hissing. “Whoa!” Mikael exclaimed, jumping from his position at Fletcher’s side. He stumbled on the stone floor of the cave, his rifle clattering to the ground as he rolled into the rock wall.

    Beltris spun around, drawing his sidearm as Zev jumped from her seated position. Bridger ran for Mikael’s discarded rifle, snatching it up. But before either man could fire, Fletcher sank his teeth into Sara’s shoulder, just as the other creature had done to him.

    Uttering a curse, Beltris popped off a shot into Fletcher’s chest, but nothing happened. The creature stumbled to his feet, emitting a growl. A shot from Bridger’s rifle cut the growl short, causing the former crewman to collapse in a heap.

    Beltris sighed as he raised his own pistol, aiming it at Sara’s head. “These things…they spread their disease—or whatever it is that infects those they kill—by biting into people and turning them into their own.”

    He blinked his eyes, his finger wrapping around the trigger. But before he could shoot, Mikael’s voice cut him off. “No. I’ll do it.”

    Before Beltris could even react, a shot sounded, and smoke sizzled from the barrel of Mikael’s pistol. The crewman looked on in calmness, although one could easily guess that he was in distress at the actions that had just transpired.

    The other three, while not knowing him, began to feel sympathy for him.

    “Mikael—” Bridger started, but Mikael shook his head. “No. Don’t worry about it. Nothing’s wrong. Don’t ask. Just—don’t.”

    And the older man didn’t push any further. “Okay,” he simply stated, stepping back.

    “I think we should move on,” Zev suggested. It was the first thing she had said since the whole event had transpired. Beltris figured that the young blonde woman hadn’t ever seen anything like this before in her life.

    Beltris nodded in agreement. “I agree. Let’s move on.” Bridger let out an “okay,” yet Mikael simply nodded and followed closely behind the three as they left the cave.

    As they left the small outcropping, Beltris’s jaw dropped at the sight before him.

    At least fifteen of the creatures were walking before them, in similar outfits to the one who had infected Fletcher. Another ten at least were wearing the uniforms of the USS Who’s Your Mama 2.

    Beltris’s words barely left his lips. “I don’t believe it…” he whispered, shaking his head. Faces of old friends, around the graying of rotting flesh, jumped into his mind. He began to hear voices in his mind. You could’ve saved us. We were your crew! It was your duty.

    Beltris shook his head. “N-no! I’m not gonna let you screw with my mind!”

    He hadn’t realized he was shouting, but he must have been because the other three members of his crew turned to look at him. “Commander? Is something wrong?” Zev asked.

    Beltris shook his head. “N-n-no, nothing’s wrong. I’m fine.”

    With a look of unease, Zev nodded. “Whatever you say, Commander.”

    The group moved on down, past their new enemy. Their new fear. “Do we have any ideas what those things are?” Beltris finally asked after a handful of minutes of walking.

    Bridger stopped, sighing. He stroked his bearded chin before speaking. “They are the Undead, a ‘race,’ if you will, of those who have joined the netherworld between life and death. They haven’t died, but they aren’t completely living and wise like humans and other life-forms.”

    Beltris shrugged his shoulders. “But why did they all of a sudden pop up now? There have been no other sightings that I’ve known of.”

    The old man sighed again. “The Undead had been ‘formed’ by one of the Sorcerers a long time ago, on the world of Mimbar. The Sorcerer—a life-form known as Ta’la’ruth—had used his skills of magic and sorcery to bring his dead family back from the grave. However, his powers had not only reanimated his family, but the rest of the dead on Mimbar.”

    Mikael, who had begun to get out of his phase, spoke up. “I’ve heard of Mimbar, but I thought it was a piece of fairy tales and myth. I didn’t know it was a real planet.”

    The storyteller nodded in agreement. “Many don’t. After Ta’la’ruth’s creation spread to other planets, all space and trade routes to the entire system were shut down so no part of the epidemic could travel to the rest of the galaxy.”

    “But somehow, it must have,” Mikael pointed out.

    Bridger shook his head. “Not necessarily. There is another possibility,” he said, causing Zev’s jaw to drop. “You mean…we’re in the system?”

    The old man nodded. “Yes. It’s possible that, after this period of years, that the land we have called the ‘unknown cosmos’ has been re-discovered by us.”

    Beltris spoke up again. “So the ship that we discovered must’ve ventured out here by mistake and picked up the disease.”

    It was Zev who piped in next. “But…that means that we can’t return back to Earth, does it?”

    Sadly, Bridger nodded in agreement. “I’m afraid that it does, Zev. None of us will be able to go back to Earth with this disease, or we risk bringing the epidemic to our friends and family.”

    Beltris’s eyes narrowed. “But we have to do something to stop this disease, or someone could unknowingly take the disease back to Earth.”

    Mikael shook his head. “There’s no way we can wipe out this whole epidemic, though; we don’t have any way to go back to Mimbar.”

    “Who says we aren’t on Mimbar?” Beltris countered.

    “Well, it isn’t proven that we aren’t. But how do we get to the rest of the planets in the system? The disease must be on them, too, if that ship picked the disease up.”

    Beltris nodded. “That is true.”

    “Wait a minute!” Zev exclaimed, jumping. “What if someone else has come to the planet we’re on? Their ship may be intact, if they did.”

    The three men examined the possibility. “That is a fair point,” Bridger said, crossing his arms. “But we’ll have to do a search.”

    Beltris smiled. “I’m up for that, if it means saving the Earth and other planets from this damned fate.”

    Mikael spoke up next. “It’s settled, then. We will start up our search to find some means of transportation leading to the other planets.”

    Bridger nodded. “So it is.” And with that, the quest—and fate—of the crew under Commander Beltris was decided.

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    • True. I was thinking Kirk could be a sort-of idol to Mari. She may even have a crush on him or something. He could pop up for one episode maybe, possibly not even do much of anything, and Mari takes over until McCroskey shows up.

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    • Actually that sounds quite good.

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    • A FANDOM user
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  • Okay, so I know we briefly discussed the EU of Starbuggers...and I have the (draft of the) first short story, Discover'y! It's set before Legends of the Force, I don't know how it matches up with Takeoff, but it is about how the Empire uncovered the injured Captain Spaghetti. Tell me what you think!


    “Lord Vader, we’ve found something.”

    Darth Vader spun around to face one of his top officers, the young man known as Commander Dent. He had been recently promoted to serving aboard Vader’s Star Destroyer Behemoth, and the Dark Lord of the Sith was surprised by the young man’s…intellect. He was a lot wiser than most of his other captains, and nearly all of them were at least seven or eight years older.

    Vader was a first-hand witness to the fact that age does not have any bearing on experience.

    “What is it, Commander?” Vader asked, his raspy breathing echoing throughout the bridge of the Behemoth. Dent raised a datapad he was holding in his right hand, using his left hand’s index finger to enlarge and scroll through images. “There seems to be a…life-form floating in the void ahead of us. We’re picking up heat signals, but they’re almost gone.”

    Vader stood still for a moment, and then turned back to look out into space. “Bring the life-form aboard. Once it is contained, contact me.”

    Dent nodded, stepping back. “As you wish, Lord Vader.”


    After nearly a half-hour of standard time, one of the bridge crewmembers strolled up behind Vader. “My lord, Commander Dent is contacting you. He says that the life-form is onboard and they have him contained.”

    Vader turned, nodding. “Very well. Inform Commander Dent that I am en route to the medical bays.”

    The crewman nodded. “Yes, Lord Vader.”

    As the Sith Lord marched down the corridors of the Behemoth, he ignored the signs of respect given from his subordinates. He hadn’t requested the salutes, so he wouldn’t accept them.

    Shortly, with several of his long-legged strides throughout the starship, Vader reached the medical bay designated ISDB-03. With his developed Force powers, the dark lord had been able to see where Dent and the newfound life-form were located.

    The doors slowly opened up as the Sith Lord strolled inside. “Lord Vader,” Dent said, bowing slightly to his superior. The dark lord didn’t do anything in response. Dent cleared his throat before continuing on: “It seems as if this man has been bitten in multiple places by humanoids. We’re giving him different types of medicine to keep him from dying.”

    Vader examined the injured man, who had a terribly torn-up right arm and a fingerless left arm; his legs were both damaged badly, as if they had been burned by something. His head was the least damaged part of the body, but Vader didn’t care. He knew that this man was of no use to him.

    “Don’t bother wasting any medical supplies. Let him die.” Dent stepped back, hands raised ever so slightly. “Let him…die? But, my lord, he may be of use to us…”

    The Sith Lord turned on his heel, raising a gloved hand in the form of a claw. “You heard my order, Commander Dent. Do not defy me.” The young officer had begun to claw at his throat. “Y-yes, my l-lord.” Vader let his hand drop as the officer fell down, panting. He rubbed his throat, and then turned to one of the medical officers standing nearby.

    “You heard Lord Vader: let him die.” The officer nodded, and then looked to the 2-1B medical droid standing nearby. It was in the middle of an injection when the officer tapped its shoulder. “Don’t bother.” The droid gave a simple “affirmative,” and then removed the built-in needle from the injured man’s torso.

    Dent pointed to a pile of clothing and gear in the corner. “Oh, Lord Vader, that was what the man was wearing when we found him. I don’t know if it could be salvageable or worth anything.”

    Vader began to speak, but then stopped when a tingle in the Force touched his mind. He slowly craned his head to gaze at the pile of equipment when he caught sight of a strange emblem. Directly beneath the insignia was the name Starfleet…

    The Sith Lord spun around. “Recall that order!” he yelled out, slamming his palms on the table the injured man was lying upon. “Sir?!” Dent cried out, shocked. Vader let out a mechanical growl. “Never mind. I’ll handle it myself.”

    Stretching out with the powers of the dark side, Vader placed a hand on the injured man’s forehead, and a faint glow began to shimmer from his glove. The only thing Vader thought about was this man sitting up, alive. He had learned this power from Darth Sidious, his own master…but he had been too late to learn it to save Padme.

    Suddenly, the man’s eyes began to flutter open. Dent’s jaw dropped at the sight, and the medical officer slumped back into his chair. He had clearly never seen anything like this before.

    Vader slowly lifted his hand off of the man’s head. He laid there for a few seconds before looking down to his legs. “What the—? What happened? W-where am I?”

    The Sith Lord crossed his arms. “You are aboard the Imperial starship Behemoth. I am Darth Vader, enforcer of the Galactic Empire.” The man tried to lift himself up, but his body was so battered that he could not do so. “Where’s Earth?”

    Vader’s black helmet snapped to look at Dent, and then back at the man. “What is Earth? And who are you?”

    The man closed his eyes, beating his head lightly on the table he was lying on. “My…my name is Captain Spaghetti, commander of the starship USS Italian from Starfleet. Earth’s the planet I call home.” His eyes blinked open. “The…the zombies…I remember now…”

    He was able to lean up slightly, turning his head to look at Vader. “Where’s my crew?” Dent leaned forward to Vader. “Is he a member of the Rebellion, sir?”

    Vader shook his head. “No. He’s from a different galaxy.” The man—Spaghetti, he called himself—nodded. “Y-yeah, I’m from a different galaxy! The Milky Way, to be precise.”

    The 2-1B droid raised a mechanical limb. “Excuse me, but what is a ‘Milky Way’? It sounds like some sort of food.”

    The Sith Lord ignored the droid. He leaned closer to Spaghetti. “Tell me…Captain Spaghetti. Where is this Milky Way galaxy located?” Before the captain spoke, he looked to Dent’s hip. A holstered blaster pistol hung from his belt. In response, the captain sneered at Vader.

    “I’m not going to tell you…you monster! I know just from the looks of you…you’re evil! Villains!”

    He scrambled to the side of the bed, but Vader stopped him by raising a hand. The man lifted into the air, and then dropped into the table. The Sith Lord held his hand in the same position, pinning him to the medical table. “You’re not going anywhere.” He slowly raised his other hand, delving into Spaghetti’s mind.

    The captain resisted Vader’s Force powers, but the Sith Lord was too strong. “Tell me…now.” And that was all there was to it.

    Spaghetti told Vader everything he wanted to know.


    The Sith Lord strolled out of the room with Commander Dent on his heel. The medical officer and his 2-1B droid had been left to heal the injured captain as best as they could.

    “I take it we’re headed to the Milky Way galaxy, then, Lord Vader?” Dent asked, hands clasped behind his back. Vader stopped, and his commander did the same. “No…I need to contact the Emperor first.” He took a turn at the intersection they had stopped at and continued to speak: “Be on the bridge and ready for my command.”

    Dent nodded as his superior marched to his private quarters. “As you wish, sir.”

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